Our struggle is surrounding the adoption. We chose Uganda because we felt like the Lord was leading us to adopt a child from there. Recently we have received some news from our adoption agency, about the Ugandan government, that was unsettling to us. So we have a decision to make, whether to not to continue our adoption in Uganda or switch to another country.
I don't know how to explain the struggle that we going through trying to make a decision. We still haven't made a decision honestly. The only way that I know how to describe what we are going through is grief. We are grieving the idea of how we thought the adoption was going to go and now everything is changing. We have spent a lot of time talking through our options, and we've had our fair share of tears and break downs. Honestly, I feel like I've cried so much, that I can't cry anymore. It has taken us a few days to even feel like we can share this with other people. Honestly, we are hurting and we are emotionally exhausted.
Today I was reading Psalm 18. I started to read verse 1 out loud, but no noise would come out. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I began to sob and the only noise that was coming from my mouth were squeaks. I had to stop and pray.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
I love you, LORD, my strength.
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
God has not forgotten us. We are not alone. We seek our refuge in God and when we don't have anymore strength, we can find our strength in him. I was so overwhelmed with a feeling of gratefulness for God that the only thing I could do was stop and pray and cry out to God for forgiveness for trying to deal with all of this on my own and not giving the whole situation and all the struggles over to Him. God is so good to us, and I get so overwhelmed by His love and faithfulness.
Please continue to pray for us, while we are trying to make a decision about what to do. Pray for clarification in our decision making and pray for peace. Also, please know that you can talk to us about our struggles, we will talk to you about what is going on. Don't be afraid to bring it up or ask questions, it helps us to know that people are praying for us and supporting us.